On food and cooking

Uncontroversially, food is one of the great joys of life. Some scientists theorize that the advent of using fire in cooking is what enabled the evolution of modern humans from apes. Evolution is driven by energy, the transition from single cellular to multicellular life was likely driven by the advent of the mitochondria, which gave cells access to a bigger energy supply through respiration. (Side note: it’s accepted as certain that the mitochondria was a product of endosymbiosis, but there really is no dispositive evidence for it other than that scientists don’t have other bright ideas.) Plants developing the ability to photosynthesize allowed their evolution into every niche (also no dispositive evidence that plastids are endosymbiosis, I digress).

The food/evolution theory would make some amount of sense though. Animals spend a huge chunk of their time of their time searching for food. Being able to grind down grain to make bread frees up energy to our bodies, which supports the development of human’s most energy intensive organ, the brain. Preservation of vegetables with pickling and fermentation, meat drying and smoking, made the food more portable and storable. Cooking kills nasty parasites, and bacteria, which enables humans to have a less acidic stomach and more efficient digestion (there’s a reason cats can eat roadkill and be fine, and humans can’t.) Cooking possibly allowed the homo sapien to evolve, but it definitely let people settle the earth.

One of my favorite lines in any song is in “Animal Collectives – Taste” “Am I really all the things that are outside of me? Do you appreciate the subtlety of taste buds?”

Imagine being a peasant in Europe in the 1500’s before the spice trade opened up. Your diet was boiled cabbage, potatoes, etc. Maybe once a year on a very special occasion you would get a scrap of meat. It would be boiled or burned to shit, and the best thing you’ve eaten in a year. Just imagine the toil to get a piece of bread. Where do you get the yeast? How do you grind the wheat? Can you keep your fire at the right temperature? To get one piece of bread is the equivalent of hours of work. Now, a loaf of bread costs $3, or about 10 minutes of work at minimum wage. Now, think about the McDouble. The amount of flavor and protein would explode their mind, the fact that you can get it for 10 minutes of work would drive them to frothing at the mouth.

It's only in modern Western history that food has become so insanely cheap and optimized. My parents immigrated from communist Poland in the 80’s. It is a story told about Yeltsin as well, but when my parents went to their first US grocery store my mom cried seeing the selection of meat. In the Soviet satellite such a thing would be unimaginable, gamey meat was a luxury. Yeltsin demanded to go grocery store to grocery store thinking that he was being set up by the Americans, and it was impossible that every store would be so stocked.

At no other place and point in history has nutritious delicious food been so available. A minimum wage worker today eats better than the highest king in the 1700’s. Efficient machines of farming and connected economic systems all converge to bring you a salty, nutritious McNugget.

Now, now, some people will say well what about the cruelty of factory farms? How could you be so joyful about the systematized torture of animals? They say. Well, animals are not conscious, I say. They’re like little robots. Experts disagree! They say. Expertise on animal consciousness is a ridiculous concept, I say. How could we know animals were conscious, if we don’t know what makes humans conscious? So on.

The worlds cuisines are beautiful in their diversity and refinement. Italians, mastering the tomato. The French: cutting stuff into cubes. Mexicans: Corn. And so on. The food reflects the geographies, climates, and spirit of the people with shared history who inhabit their corners of the earth. My very favorite restaurant in my area is called Tasty Food to Go. It’s a takeout only, cash only, Cambodian/Thai restaurant. Behind the counter are 4 or 5 old thai people manning screaming woks. The food: delicious, portions: generous, prices: reasonable. Their crispy pork belly is a perfect bite. I’ve eaten at a few (3) Michelin star restaurants and Tasty Food to Go tastes as good. Now that I think about it, McDonalds tastes as good as 2/3. People imagine finding McDonalds disgusting in favor of duck liver pate is a mark of sophistication, but the true mark of sophistication is appreciating them both.

My favorite place, maybe just in general, is Beef Palace. Their prime steaks come from a local farm where cows graze their whole lives, turning grass into insanely marbled meat. They’re also cash only, and have signs degrading the FDA and vegetarians. A perfectly prepared ribeye is transcendent. My girlfriend and I go every few weeks, prepare the steak, take a tiny hit of weed while it rests, and voila. Here is the best way to prepare steak (without a charcoal grill)

·        Salt with diamond kosher salt at least 40 minutes in advance, salt heavily and let it sit in the fridge near the fan uncovered

·        Take it out 10 minutes before you’re ready to go, pat it dry

·        Get a cast iron as hot as your stove can handle, put a tablespoon of some neutral oil in there, peanut, canola, soy, whatever

·        Put the steak on, flip it every 15-30 seconds, this is key

·        Should take about 5-8 minutes

·        Use a meat thermometer, probe often, get it up to 120-125

·        Take it off, cover with aluminum foil, let it rest 5 minutes, tiny hit of weed

My cooking habits are sporadic. I do cook probably 90% of the food I eat. Sundays I cook a more ornate meal, normally. I’ve been in a long phase of stanning Kenji Lopez Alt. He loves to optimize, optimize, optimize. So do I. Some of his recipes are a bit ridiculous and take hours of work, multiple grocery store visits, a lot of money, some are easy, cheap, fold into the timing of a busy life. It’s good to get some fundamentals down, I’ve found that with better control of technique and flavor, I cook healthier. I’ve also learned to love the wok, it’s a fun and fast way to cook delicious food. I’m about at the point where I intuitively can throw stuff together, spice appropriately, cook at the right heat without reference, and be happy with what comes out. My french friend Lea ate some fried fish tacos I made, and said “wow, congratulations” which I liked a lot. I’ve started messing with fermentation a bit to make hot sauces, which is fun. Maybe I’ll make a separate post about that sometime. My sisters got me a Ninja Creami for xmas, and I’m getting into making ice cream and sorbets.

Basics:

Roasting broccoli

Pork shoulder

Brussels

Green beans

Fried rice

More ornate knowledge

Lomo saltado

Kung Pao

Meatballs (Kenjis version is better but not online, in his cook book “The Food Lab” he has a recipe which includes anchovies and marmite, it brought a tear to my girlfriends eye)

Barbacoa

Red sauce

Products I swear by (I don’t get paid, I’m horrendous at monetizing):

Microplane grater (for garlic, ginger, zesting, parmesan)

A decent knife (for everything else)

Wok (has gotta be carbon steel, this one is cheap and good enough)

Dutch oven (get the le creuset one if you’re rich)

Diamond kosher salt (it’s less salty, easier to eyeball)

Big tongs (game changer)

There’s more, but thats enough for now. Keep your knives sharp. Bon appetit!

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